Merced County Times Newspaper
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A bird house for the holidays — the perfect gift

A bird house for the holidays — the perfect gift
A bird house for the holidays — the perfect gift

Do you like craft fairs?

I like them, especially near Christmas.  The problem is that when I see something I like at these fairs, I can’t buy just one — I buy multiples!  This Saturday it was raining, so I bagged the tennis and saw that my local church in Merced was having a craft fair.

I was feeling pretty good.  I just got a full tank of gas for $22 — actually it was for my lawn mower, but still, I am trying to be positive!

I headed down to 18th and Canal and entered the gym.  There were about 25 craft booths spread around the gym floor.  I hadn’t gone 20 feet when I spotted a booth selling bird houses. I thought, “I need a bird house!”  Hadn’t had a bird house that was livable for 20 years!

The houses were attached to a birch pole about four feet high.  Individually designed, they had bark roofs, rough hand sawed siding and cute egress bird holes.  Really woodsy!  Two of the houses were upscale, with an antique clear glass nob handle, which increased the cost,  forty bucks.

Now the only birds that hang out in our yard  are humming birds, but I think they could adjust. The man and his wife selling the houses wanted $40 per bird house. I didn’t try to negotiate, I bought five of them!

Later on I bought another bigger one from another vendor.  As I made the purchase of these bird houses, I realized that I should gift them to my friends. I have a son and two sons-in law.  Craig in Dover wouldn’t be getting one as I don’t think UPS will ship live wood, but of course I am guessing.

My plan is to give a bird house to my son and son-in-law in Clovis.  They hopefully will like them and place them in an area where they can be seen from the kitchen window.  Just as likely is that they will  immediately be re-gifted to me so I can enjoy them and send pictures to them of the birds seen in the bird holes.  Another scenario is that the bird houses will be appreciated, but find a place in their back yard that even a gopher couldn’t  find!

I am thinking of having Drew take a picture of them unwrapping the bird houses when we exchange gifts.  Would like to catch the expression of excitement as the wrapping paper is torn away.  I am sure the bird house openings  will be a wonderful experience!

Oh yes!  When I bought the bird houses I should have  known to keep my mouth shut as to their final disposition.  The man and wife’s daughter was present when I bought the houses.  She  was about 50 years old. Out of the blue, she asked, “Why are you buying so many bird houses?”  I replied that I had a booth at the end of the gym and was going to take them down to my table and resale  them for a profit!”

She yelled very loudly at me, “That is the rudest thing I have ever seen done!  You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Boy was she mad!  Her mom and dad were laughing behind her, evidently  assessing that I was kidding.  I couldn’t get the words “I was kidding” out of my mouth fast enough.  I told her that I could wear nicer clothes if I wanted and I didn’t need extra  money by doing a “resale”!

Once she realized I was joking she was mortified and couldn’t apologize enough.  Turns out she is a psychiatric  nurse working in a state prison near Pismo Beach and has been there 17 years.  Probably wants to move me into one of her therapy sessions.  She said she looks  forward to seeing me next year!

I have given some thought to actually keeping the bird houses and moving them inside into our family room.  I would have to get five parakeets and a cockatoo, and I think Sheila would love the birds of song. I would promise to feed them and lay down newspaper around  each house.  Of course I hear parakeets molt  a lot, that could be a problem.

Merry Christmas!

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